


Telling Lena

by thefutureisequalaf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Identity Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-02-01 11:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12704400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefutureisequalaf/pseuds/thefutureisequalaf
Summary: She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.It wasn’t really a choice.Or, seven ways Kara told Lena that she's Supergirl, and seven ways Lena responded.





	1. Take 1

**Author's Note:**

> Remember what Lillian Luthor said at the end of season two, about how Lena will hate Kara once she learns her identity? I wanted to smack her. I want Lena to be better than that. So, each chapter is a different take on Lena's response to Kara.
> 
> Basically, I poured my heart into writing my first SuperCorp fic this week and, now that it's done, I don't know what to do with myself and all the love I have for these two. This is my overflow :)

_She entered Lena's office and found a foreign sight: the executive standing in front of her desk, stance forbidding, arms folded, chin tight, eyes…broken? “I always thought you were different.” Her voice was almost cold and almost flat, but her emotions seeped in. Harsh emotions. “Turns out, I was wrong. I called you my best friend, but I didn’t know you at all.” She dropped her arms. “Get out. I don't want to see you again. Don't call, don't write, and don’t come crawling back.”_

Kara rolled over in bed with tears forming in her eyes. Concern over her relationship with Lena had been gnawing at for weeks. It felt wrong to be Lena's best friend when she didn’t know about Supergirl. Lena deserved to know who she was trusting. Her fear was that Lena wouldn’t understand if she learned it now. That fear had come to a boil while she lay awake, spiraling out of control until she was putting words in Lena's mouth.

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

Bad news never gets better with age. Kara climbed out of bed, dressed in her super-suit, and flew to Lena's penthouse apartment. A quick X-ray scan revealed Lena preparing for bed. Kara alighted outside a sufficiently large window and tapped on it. “Miss Luthor?”

Lena came to the window with a flashlight in one hand and a gun in the other. Seeing Supergirl, she put both down and opened the window. “What's the emergency?”

“It's not…may I come in?”

Lena regarded her for a moment before stepping back. “Sure. What can I do for you?”

“Nothing. I want to talk to you about something.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. “At this hour?”

“I’ve waited too long already. Please, can we sit down?”

Another long look. “Sure.” Lena switched on the lights and returned to find Supergirl already seated on a couch. Lena hesitated before joining her and sat further away then Kara was used to – but then, that was as Kara Danvers. “This isn't table business?” Lena asked.

“This isn’t business. This is…about me.” She waited for some acknowledgement from Lena, who gave her a small nod. “Lena, you deserve to know that I'm Kara Danvers.”

Lena's lips parted and she looked away. “This whole time,” she said to the room.

“You deserve to know,” Kara repeated.

Lena looked back at Kara. “I deserve to?” Her voice was unreadable.

“You deserve to know why I’m always rushing out on you.”

“Oh.”

“Lena, I want you to know that everything you know about me, Kara Danvers, is the truth. Everything I’ve said, everything I’ve done, was all the real me.”

Lena tilted her head. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Kara was unprepared for that. “It’s…I…I was really scared that you'd be upset.”

To her relief, Lena smiled. “Upset that the best person I know is secretly the best person in the city?”

Kara gave a half-smile back. “Upset that I didn’t tell you.”

“As though that would outweigh all my experience of you? No, Kara, that was never going to happen.” Lena shifted on the couch to their familiar closeness and grinned. “Do you seriously need a lesson on trust from a Luthor?”

“I did today.” Kara couldn’t meet her eyes. She felt terrible for fearing the worst from her best friend.

“Aww, Kara.” Lena pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for telling me. I'll keep it secret.”

Kara embraced her a little tighter than usual for a human. “Thank you for trusting me.”

When she flew home, she launched into the sky even faster than normal, as if a great weight had left her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Easy, right? Next one's tougher.


	2. Take 2

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

First thing next morning, she texted Lena.

_Kara: When's the soonest I can see you today?_

_Lena: Lunch. I'm sorry I can’t make it sooner._

As she slid into the booth opposite Lena, she sensed that Lena knew something was up. Hating the tension, she steeled herself and took off her glasses. “My birth name is Kara Zor-El. I was born on the planet Krypton. I spent the second half of my childhood with an adoptive family here on Earth. I have friends, family, and a job like anyone else, but I'm wearing a cape under my shirt.”

Lena sucked in her cheeks. “So my best friend is an alien and a liar.”

Kara would’ve understood the latter, but the former made her bristle. “Name a lie that I've told you.”

“That you’re not an alien. I wouldn’t even mind that, but you made me believe you were a human.”

“That was when we met and I had no idea if I could trust you.”

“But you never made it right.”

Kara spread her hands. “Lena, I came here to make it right.”

Lena sighed. “So you did. But…” She clenched her jaw. “You were the one person who I thought trusted me, and now I find out…”

Kara put her hand on Lena's, which twitched. She spread out her fingers to cover it. “I do trust you. I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t.”

“Then why do I feel like you’re here because you feel guilty, not because you’re happy to tell me?”

“I do feel guilty.” Lena sighed again and glanced away for a moment. “Lena, tell me what you really want.”

Lena worked her lips, looking at their hands. “I don’t think you trust me any more today than you did last week or last month. It makes me think that trust isn't why you’re telling me now.”

“Lena, this might sound weird, but because you didn’t know about Supergirl, it felt like you were closer to me as Kara Danvers than any of my friends who know.”

“So you've told other people?”

Her tone made Kara flinch. “All more than a year ago. Well, except my sister's girlfriend. And only one was because I truly wanted to. Like now,” she added.

“So, before you could tell me, you first had to learn to trust me and then get over being selfish about it? Is that what I'm hearing?”

Kara had a flashback to the way Alex looked when she'd confessed about Astra. “Lena, I can’t lose you.”

“If you want to be friends now, then tell me what we were before.”

“You were the one person I could relax and just be myself with, with no expectations. You were my friend.”

Lena pulled her hand out from under Kara's. “Then why are you giving that up?”

“Because I feel too close to keep it from you and you're worth the risk.”

“So first you had to trust me, then you had to get over yourself, and then you had to decide I was _worth_ it?

Kara forced herself to hold Lena's eyes. “Yes, and I do, and I did, and you are, and I will always be here for you.”

Lena shook her head and let out a breath. It came out ragged. “I need some time.”

“Of course, of course.” Kara scooted to the edge of the booth. “I'll call you tomorrow if I don’t hear from you-”

Lena caught her hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean without you. Just…stay.”

Kara slid back into the booth, feeling uncomfortable in the silence. Lena's eyes looked at her, looked away, closed, opened, repeated it all again. After the longest two minutes of Kara’s life, Lena worked her jaw and spoke. “I’m sorry. It feels raw to find out that the person I trust most was keeping something big from me. It stabs at every Luthor wound you helped me close.” Instinct made Kara reach for Lena's hands again, and the woman let her take them. “I wish you had told me sooner, but I don’t think that’s reasonable of me. Everything you are, you always were, and everything you were, you still are. Sorry, does that make sense?”

Kara nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

Lena's chin started to quiver. “And, Kara…Kara, you're worth it, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still, I don't think I'm giving Lena's intelligence enough credit. On to the next one.


	3. Take 3

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

She caught Lena in her office between meetings. By 'caught', she really meant 'stalked like an unscrupulous reporter', but it worked. “Lena, thank you for seeing me. I'll keep this as short as I can.”

“Much as I want to say you don't need to, I appreciate it,” Lena admitted.

“Mind if we sit?” Kara gestured to the couch where she'd comforted and encouraged Lena time after time.

“Certainly.” Lena sat with her, as calm and warm as Kara could remember. Kara looked her square in the eyes. “Lena, this is going to be one of those things that sounds crazy, but I need you to take me seriously. I'm Supergirl.”

Lena nodded. “I know.”

Kara gawked. “You know?!”

Lena smiled like she was explaining the obvious. “Of course I know. I knew the day after you first visited my office alone.”

“You did?”

Lena smirked. “You were so wary of the alien detector that I suspected something was up. I sent it back to quality control for inspection. The sensors were all fused and shorted out. Obviously, you used your eye lasers on it when I turned my back. Once I knew you were an alien, it was obvious which alien.”

Kara stared. “And you didn’t say anything?”

“Absolutely not. You were doing good for the city, so I wasn’t going to out you, and I didn’t want to scare you by telling you. You have enough to deal with without a Luthor looming in the background. When we became friends, I decided to let you be in control of your secret. I didn’t want to force you to trust me.”

“So...we're good?”

Lena laughed. “Yes, we're good. See you at girls' night?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand now for the one where they kiss :)


	4. Take 4

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

She invited Lena to stop by her apartment after work. While waiting for her, the act of tidying up freed her mind to consider a new question: did she want to tell Lena? She knew she wanted to stop keeping her secret, but did that mean she wanted the converse? Did she want to share it?

She dropped a paper towel in the wastebasket and leaned against her kitchen counter. Lena Luthor. The list of reasons why she would never tell her had been convincing, but, one by one, they'd been crossed off. All that remained was her own sense of comfort and familiarity. Lena not knowing made their friendship simpler. Kara asked herself if that was really what she wanted.

It wasn't. It wasn’t at all.

Admitting that she wanted Lena to know uncorked emotions she’d kept bottled for months. With them came a new wave of nervousness, but Kara knew how to handle her nerves. She smiled to herself and watched the clock.

A knock came from the door. Kara dipped her glasses to look through it, then discarded them with a smirk. She opened the door and smiled. “Come in. I have something to show you.”

“Okay…”

“Have a seat.” Kara led Lena to her couch, where Lena sat and Kara settled close to her. “Close your eyes.” Two seconds and a rush of wind later, “Open them.” In Kara’s place sat Supergirl.

Lena surged forwards and kissed her.

Kara squeaked in surprise and Lena pulled back immediately. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I don’t know what...” She stood up in a fluster. “I should go, I should just go.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Lena froze; that was Supergirl's voice. “You should sit down and talk to me.”

Slowly, Lena turned and sank back down. Kara spoke in her familiar tone again. “Lena, I’m not freaked out, but you do need to tell me what that was.”

“You’re not freaked out?” Lena repeated. Kara nodded and watched Lena struggle to choose her words. “It…that…” Lena sighed and covered her eyes. “I’ve felt like you’ve been holding something out on me for a long time. It didn’t make sense, because I could tell you were your genuine yourself with me, but I knew there was something. When you told me, it came together and – and I kissed you.”

Kara titled Lena’s hand up from her eyes and peeked under it. “Okay, but why?”

“Because for the first time I felt like I knew all of you.”

Kara tried not to smirk, but probably failed. “So you just kiss people you know?” When Lena tried to look away, Kara let go of her hand and touched her cheek. Lena stiffened. Kara shifted closer and laid her arm on the couch back behind Lena. “Because I don’t kiss just anyone.” She looked at Lena’s eyes, at her lips, and back up. Lena bit her lower lip. Kara wet her own and leaned in. When Lena didn’t respond to the brush of her lips, Kara opened her eyes and saw Lena staring wide-eyed. She stroked Lena’s cheek with her thumb; Lena shivered and leaned a little closer. Kara tried another kiss. Lena responded hesitantly but sank in as Kara continued. She felt tentative fingertips on her waist and cupped Lena’s face more confidently. Finally breaking the kiss, she was pleased to see Lena’s eyes closed.

They fluttered open into an expression of disbelief. “I’m kissing Supergirl.”

Kara grinned. “I’m kissing Lena Luthor – and I want to do it again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you enjoyed reading and don't forget to leave comments :)


	5. Take 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a break from my other writing projects and thought up another chapter. I had fun writing it, though I should mention that it's not as 'nice' as the previous chapters. Hope you enjoy anyway :)

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

She knew her decision would not be received well, but she really did know better than anyone else that it was the right decision. She called Lena and asked her to come alone to a particular address. “If you drive, don’t give your driver the address. Have him drop you off two blocks away and walk the rest.”

Kara met her in front of a building she knew as well as she knew Catco or L-Corp. Lena looked puzzled and a little out of character in common street clothes. “What’s this about, Kara? Is this some news scoop you think I should know about?”

“No. Lena, we had a saying in my family, ‘stronger together’. I think it’s past time that we got together.”

Lena's eyes widened and her lips parted. Kara blushed. “Sorry!” She held up her hands, then fussed with her glasses. “That came out wrong. I meant… you want L-Corp to be a force for good, right?”

Lena needed a second to compose herself. “You know I do, Kara. It’s my life’s work. I wouldn’t leave it for anything. That’s why I sent Sam to oversee Catco instead of going myself.”

Kara smiled. “There’s another force for good that I think you should partner with. Together, we’d be… we could change the world, Lena, even more than we are already.”

Lena raised her eyebrow. “We? As in, you’re part of this force for good? I presume you aren’t talking about Catco.”

“Lena, I can’t say another word here on the street. If you step through that door,” she gestured, “I’ll explain everything, but it’ll be a lot at once. It’ll get off to a rocky start, too.”

“What’s through that door?”

Kara shook her head. “I’m asking you to trust me, Lena.”

Lena gave her a long, appraising look. “Stronger together,” she said finally.

Kara smiled, went to the door, and opened it for Lena. When it closed behind them, Kara spoke fast. “I’m Supergirl. This is my other job. It’s called the Department of Extranormal Operations. We-”

_“FREEZE!”_

As she looked around at the guards pointing guns at them, Kara’s hand went instinctively to Lena’s.

J’onn strode towards them, anger written on his face. “What in the _hell_ do you think you’re doing, Kara?”

“Making the world a better place,” Kara said firmly. “Get Alex down here. We might as well have it out all at once.”

Lena looked at Kara. “Alex? Do you mean your sister?”

“Yes. She-”

Kara would’ve continued, but Alex’s arrival cut her off. Alex stared, then clenched her eyes shut. “Kara…”

“Alex, imagine how much the DEO could do if we had access L-Corp’s technology.”

“You may recall,” J’onn growled, “that we have our _own_ R&D department?”

“Understaffed and underfunded,” Kara shot back, “or so you said last week.”

At her side, Lena spoke up. “How about I sign whatever non-disclosure paperwork I’m sure you have while you fight this out?”

“See?” Kara looked at J’onn, Alex, and Vasquez, who’d just arrived with more guards in tactical gear. “She’s making constructive suggestions.”

Alex looked at J’onn. “She has to sign them before she can leave. Might as well get it over with.”

* * *

Kara shed her outerclothes and glasses. She wanted to be in full Supergirl mode for this. “Think how much stronger we could be together.”

“Kara,” Alex said, glaring, “this has to be the most selfish, arrogant thing you have ever done in your life.”

Kara glared back. “Arrogant, maybe, but explain how it’s selfish.”

“Bringing _Lena Luthor_ in just because she’s your friend?!”

“Not because she’s my friend – even my best friend. That would justify telling her I’m Supergirl, but not exposing the DEO to her. I brought her here because of how much stronger we could be together.”

From the table behind her, Kara heard Lena say to herself, _“Ooh, up to five years in prison! Never seen that in an NDA before.”_

“Together?” J’onn repeated. “L-Corp won’t work with us out of the kindness of their hearts. Did you not just quote me that we’re underfunded? How are we going to pay L-Corp if we can barely make ends meet on our own?”

Lena raised her voice. “It’d be cheaper to contract your work out than to hire your own employees and maintain your own facilities. The rest of the government is already doing it.”

“Give me a reason,” Kara said in her most muscular voice, “that isn’t related to her last name, why we shouldn’t work with her.”

“Because-” Alex stopped. “Alright, let’s say I can’t. Isn’t that reason enough?”

“Alex, I’ve already been working with her.”

“You call her actions at the gala and with the Medusa virus ‘working together’?”

“No,” Kara admitted, “we haven’t been cooperating, but that was because she didn’t trust a Super to trust a Luthor. She knows that I, Kara Danvers, trust her, though. Now that I’ve told her, the way is clear to really work together _and be stronger together.”_

Alex turned to J’onn. “I can’t help you. I’ve never won an argument with her in my life.”

 _“At least I have that going for me,”_ Kara heard Lena mutter.

“J’onn,” Kara implored, “Lena is independent and clever, but that doesn’t make her a threat. That makes her an asset. I’m telling you, I know her and she’s trustworthy. If her name were anything else, you’d be begging her to work with us. Call me arrogant if you like, but your only choices are to bounce her out or work with her.”

J’onn sighed. “You certainly have let the cat out of the bag.”

“Kara,” Alex said, voice unsteady, “I don’t think I can express how angry I am with you.”

Stepping closer, Kara put her hand on her sister’s arm. “Give her a chance. I’ll-”

Alex jerked away. “The whole point of being secret is to not give people a chance!”

“I know. I knew exactly what I was doing when I brought her here.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better?”

“No,” Kara said gently, “getting to know her when I bring her to game nights will make it better. Once you know her like I know her, you’ll agree with me.”

“Done with the paperwork.” They turned to look at Lena. Despite the guns which leveled at her when she stood and the barked orders to sit, she walked to them. “You might as well let them get back to their normal duties,” she said, gesturing at the guards. “They’re not going to shoot me any more than you’re going to cut ties with Kara.” She spoke directly to J’onn. “Send me a wish list of technological capabilities and I’ll have L-Corp’s R&D start work on them. We’ll talk contracts later. Alex, thank you again for saving my life.” She turned and headed for the door.

Kara looked at her back, then at J’onn and Alex, and hurried after Lena.

“Rocky start indeed,” Lena said quietly.

“You are unflappable,” Kara admired.

Lena smiled. “And you were right. We will be stronger together. This is going to work.” She glanced at Kara and smirked. “I had no idea you were this clever.”

“It’s going to cost me with my sister,” Kara said, frowning.

“Kara,” Lena said as they stopped in front of the door, “Nobody can stay mad at you for long. You said something about a game night?”

Kara nodded. “You have to come. I mean _have_ to. Alex needs to get to know you.”

“I’ll come. Maybe we should’ve done that first,” Lena noted.

“Probably,” Kara admitted. “I guess I can be impulsive.”

Lena smiled. “I’d say you’re too focused on doing the right thing to look before you leap.”

Kara tilted her head. “That is definitely one of my shortcomings. I’ll tell Alex you said that.”

“Remember, she loves you. I’m thankful for this, Kara. That you trust me this much… Kara, no one ever has. I’m grateful, too, that you want to work together.” She smiled. “A Super and a Luthor, stronger together. I like it.”

“Me, too.” As Kara wrapped her in a hug, she wondered why it made Lena’s pulse accelerate. And her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I hope you enjoyed! Do leave comments, they make me feel loved :)


	6. Take 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don’t go for the idea of fictional races being arbitrarily ‘superior’ to we humans, but a post on tumblr prompted me to take Kara’s substantial Kryptonian science background and run with it. ‘Growing up while having to hide powers’ is a weak interpretation of Kara’s character. It reduces her to a female Clark Kent. There’s so much more to Kara’s life than that.
> 
> Also, wrote this kinda quickly... planned on it being part of something longer... idk just keep that mind.

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

Kara willed herself to relax. She knew her friend and her friend knew her. She had nothing to fear. “Lena, my name isn’t Kara Danvers. It’s Kara Zor-El. I’m a refugee from the planet Krypton.” As she spoke, Lena began to smile. “I’ve lived on Earth for the last fourteen years, and in all that time, I’ve never been able to be fully myself. I want to be with you.”

Lena’s smile wilted as one eyebrow rose. “Slip of the tongue?”

“What?” Kara furrowed her brow at her friend.

Lena let out a breath. “Nothing. You want to be yourself with me. Absolutely, yes.” Lena’s expression grew concerned. “You feel like you haven’t been yourself even with Alex?”

“Lena, Alex is the gifted daughter of biochemists at the forefront of their field. On Krypton, I was the gifted daughter of a biochemist at the forefront of his field. On Krypton,” Kara emphasized. “Once, a few months into my time on Earth, Eliza brought some of her work home. When she showed me what it was, I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, ‘Oh, yeah, I read that when I was nine’. I couldn’t show that, to me, her entire life’s work was half a sentence in a textbook. Alex already resented this super-powered girl dropping into her life – briefly,” she assured Lena. “I couldn’t let on that I knew more about her favorite subjects than she might learn in her life.”

“You’ve been hiding more than just your powers all these years,” Lena realized aloud.

“The powers were nothing! They’re an accident, Lena. What was hiding them, compared to hiding my entire education? I don’t know if I would’ve gone on to work in science or tech on Krypton – maybe I would’ve discovered journalism there, too – but having to turn away from everything I’d been doing was crushing. I had to pretend my entire life to that point hadn’t happened.”

“Yet you feel you can share that part of yourself with me?”

“Yes. You’re choosing to be my friend. I’m not an imposition on you, like I was for the Danvers’. For that reason, I don’t think you’ll resent me if I let my science-slash-intellectual side out. Another reason is that I’ve matured since I came to Earth. I can admire the quality of your work and the dedication you put into it without comparing the results to what we had on Krypton.”

“Please don’t,” Lena said politely. “That would wear thin.”

Kara smiled. “I won’t. I’m interested in your relative displacement, not your absolute position.”

Lena smiled back. “Not where I finish, but how far I’ve come from where I started.” She tilted her head and appraised Kara. “Do you want to be part of it? Contribute in some way to L-Corp?”

Kara bit her lip, looked down, put her hands on her hips, let them drop again… and looked Lena square in the eye. “Do you want to end cancer?” Lena’s lips parted soundlessly. “In the Kryptonian equivalent of AP Bio,” Kara continued, “which I took two years early, that was a homework problem, just like a geometric proof in math class here. I’m not saying I can snap my fingers and make it happen, because our solution will need to be adapted to human physiology, but it’s within reach. L-Corp could be doing human trials in a year.”

“I… wow.” Lena raised her eyebrows and looked away. “Should I mention that cancer is freaking complicated, or is that just showing my ignorance?”

Kara sighed. “You see my problem?”

“I think I’m starting to. It’s hard to take when someone walks in knowing all the answers.”

“I know. And that’s ignoring all the science-fiction questions about whether handing the answers to a developing, quarrelsome planet is a good idea.” Kara gazed out of a window. “But, every now and then, I wake up in the middle of the night, asking myself how many lives have been crippled by, say, dementia since I landed on Earth.” She turned her hands over. “I hear about how the brain is still largely a mystery to be unlocked, and I’m a walking, talking skeleton key.”

“Kara.” Lena smiled. “Kara Zor-El, do what you think is right.”

Kara’s lips pursed. “That may mean publishing my knowledge in the public domain, rather than giving it to you.”

Lena bowed her head. “What you think is right.” She looked back up with a playful gleam in her eye. “I’ll still get the benefit of having it explained in person.”

Kara smirked. “Ever the businesswoman.” She pulled Lena in and hugged her.

“You know,” Lena said over her shoulder, “if you were interested in teaching, I’d learn Kryptonian.”

Kara knew immediately that her new, tighter embrace would leave bruises. She let up the pressure. “Sorry. That’s just how much it means to me. _Nahkluv.”_

“You’re welcome.”

 _“Zhi._ Luthor genius at work,” Kara grinned.

 _“Nahkluv,_ Kara Zor-El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don't hesitate to leave your comments, I love hearing from you :)


	7. Take 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last winter, I read a fic which delved into Lena’s feelings in response to Kara continually making excuses for running off on emergencies. I left that story with my frustration unresolved, so I started writing this chapter to clear my heart. I didn’t finish it, though, and I abandoned it until many months later, when I accidentally read a teaser about season four. That stirred up all the hurt from the show I’ve tried to get away from, and now here I am. So, this is my repudiation of how the _Supergirl_ showrunners and writers have handled, and appear to be continuing to handle, Kara and Lena. It’s going to get angsty.

She ought to talk to Alex first. Also, J'onn, probably Clark – maybe even Cat, if she went as Supergirl and kept it vague. Or she could be brave and do what she felt was right, even if it hurt.

It wasn’t really a choice.

Once resolved, she felt a rush of urgency. Every second she delayed in telling Lena felt like an added betrayal. Rao, she’d let this go on for far too long. She needed to talk to Lena _now._

Not even bothering to change out of her pajamas, Kara flew to Lena’s penthouse apartment. A quick X-ray scan revealed Lena preparing for bed. Kara alighted outside a sufficiently large window and tapped on it. Lena came with a flashlight in one hand and a gun in the other. Seeing Kara, she put both down, clenched her jaw, and folded her arms. Kara heard her voice through the glass. “So I am worth more than a pile of cheap lies to you?”

Kara’s breath hung in her throat. Was it too late?

“Well? What are you here for?”

“To-” Kara swallowed against the lump in her throat. “To tell you, and apologize.” She saw Lena swallow, too, and then the woman let her in. When the window was shut behind her, though, Lena refolded her arms. “Lena,” Kara tried, “I’m Supergirl, and I’ve been lying to you about it. I’m sorry.”

Lena’s eyes narrowed, and she gave the slightest shake of her head. “Don’t say that.” Her voice was low, dark, and her nose tensed in a snarl as she spoke. “Just sit.”

For the first time, Kara felt afraid of Lena Luthor. “What?”

The brunette aimed a finger at an overstuffed chair. “Sit.” She turned and left, disappearing into another room. Kara heard the sound of water running, heard hands interrupt the flow, heard it splash a few times. When Lena returned, she sat on a couch opposite Kara’s chair. For a minute, she didn’t speak; she only stared at Kara’s chest, jaw muscles taut beneath her cheeks. Kara couldn’t take it. “Lena, I’m sor-”

“Don’t.” Lena unclenched her jaw and worked it for a moment. “I know, Supergirl, that you had no obligation to tell me. You didn’t owe it to me, any more than you owe me your favorite color. And I understand that your identity, and people knowing it, is serious. It can put you and others at risk. I don’t need an explanation for why you didn’t tell me. What I need,” Lena said, and Kara recognized anger and bitterness entering her voice, “is an explanation for why you kept lying to me after we started calling each other ‘best friends’.”

“Lena…” Kara hung her head. She didn’t have an explanation which felt true to her, because she didn’t have a reason. She hadn’t realized that she needed to change that part of their relationship; she hadn’t realized until today that she _could_ change it. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

Lena’s eyes and mouth showed disbelief, then dangerous anger. “Did you not trust me? Did you think I would turn on you?”

Kara shook her head. “No, Lena, I-”

“Did you think I wouldn’t have been happy to know? Happy to watch you run out every time an emergency interrupted us, knowing that you were flying off to save the day?”

“No, that’s not-”

“Then how can you call me your best friend when you’re lying to avoid being yourself with me?”

“I’m sorry, Lena! You deserve better-”

“I know!” Lena almost shouted it. “I deserve so much fucking better than this.” Kara’s jaw dropped; she’d never heard Lena swear. “You know what the most perverse part of all this is? You taught me I did. You showed me that I could expect to be treated like a worthy human being, not a Luthor monster. Did you not believe me when I said I’d never had a friend like you? And now I find that you’re lying to me every week!”

Kara sighed and rubbed her eyes. “How long have you known?”

“Since this morning. I’m sure I would’ve figured you out long ago, if I hadn’t trusted you so much.”

“Why didn’t you-” Kara knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left her mouth.

“Why didn’t I?!” Lena demanded incredulously.

“No,” Kara said, “don’t answer, I’m-”

“No, I’ll tell you why.” Lena’s voice dripped with bitterness. “If I went to you and forced you to tell me, I’d never know what kind of friend you really are. That’s why.”

Kara looked down. “Now you know.”

“I do,” Lena agreed coldly.

“Lena,” Kara implored, as claws tore at her heart, “I’m sorry.”

The brunette shook her head. “Not yet, you aren’t. Do you have any idea how long it took me,” she said, her voice accusatory but beginning to quaver, “to believe that you really were sorry you kept having to break our dates and run out on me? Do you know how long I wondered whether you really cared about me the way you claimed? That you weren’t just trying to make me feel better whenever you dropped me in favor of something that actually mattered to you?”

 _Actually mattered._ The words brought tears to Kara’s eyes. “Lena, you do matter to me. I wouldn’t have run out on you for anything less than a Supergirl emergency.”

“How was I supposed to know,” Lena snarled, “when you told me again and again you were doing exactly that.”

Kara ducked her head and looked down at her hands. She didn’t want Lena to see that she was crying; showing her own pain seemed selfish. “I didn’t think of that until tonight,” she confessed.

Lena clenched her jaw again, let out a scornful breath through her nose, and shook her head. “And I took so much inspiration from how considerate I thought you were. God, I want to hate you, Kara. You made me aspire to be as good a person as you were, but you couldn’t even consider how much your actions hurt your supposed ‘best friend’.” She paused to run a hand over her mouth. “I bet Lillian knows, doesn’t she?” Lena was the personification of bitter cynicism. “Did you two talk about me not knowing, during the Daxamite invasion?”

“Yes.” It came out a whimper.

“Well?”

“She said…” Kara swallowed. “You’d find out and hate me for lying to you.”

Lena shook with rage. “And you looked her in the eye, heard her say that, and went right back to lying to me?!” Kara had no words. “This is why I told you not to apologize,” Lena said. “You don’t even realize what you need to apologize for! And she was so close to being right, but it’s not the lying itself that makes me want to hate you. It’s that you knew I believed in you. Did it never cross your mind that-” Suddenly, the CEO was on the verge of tears. “That I would have been overjoyed to know you were Supergirl? That this…” her chin quivered and she choked up. “This should’ve been the happiest conversation of my life? That my best friend, my Kara Danvers-” Teardrops rolled and she sobbed into her hands.

It took all of Kara’s self-control not to rush to Lena’s side and hold her – but wasn’t that the problem? Mindless restraint and blind adherence to rules got her into this mess; she couldn’t rely on the same behaviors to get her out of it. Hesitantly, fearfully, she rose from her seat and crossed the space to Lena.

The brunette kept her head in her hands, but she must’ve heard Kara approach; “Don’t touch me,” she warned. Kara wet her lips. That would be impossible if she sat next to Lena, but she couldn’t just stand in front of her. Her only option was the floor, and she sat at Lena’s feet. Lena didn’t react or show that she was aware, but wiped at her closed eyes, covered them with one hand, and clenched the other into a fist in her lap. _“You were my hero.”_

The hollow, plaintive words stabbed into Kara like Kryptonite. She remembered her own words, spoken on Lena’s office couch that night: _Now you have someone who will stand up for you, always._ Yet in the most basic and most personal way, she hadn’t stood up for her best friend. Not until it was far, far too late. “I failed you, Lena,” Kara confessed, “in the only way that really matters. I’m sorry.”

Lena’s hand over her eyes sank to her lap. The anger and bitterness were gone from her expression, leaving only heartbreak. She dipped her head and clenched her eyes as fresh tears leaked out. When she looked at Kara again, her gaze bore a tinge of fear. The seated blonde felt unable to breathe as Lena’s hands found hers and held them. “I’m scared, Kara, because either I hate you now, or I forgive you and keep believing in you. Both are terrifying, but there’s no middle ground. I can’t just move on from you.”

Kara wet her lips. “Lena…” She swallowed, and swallowed again. “My emotional impulse is to make more promises, but since the one I broke I meant with all my heart, I wouldn’t believe myself. The only thing I can say that I trust myself to mean is that I love you like family. Lena, I-” She let out a shaky sigh as more tears came to her eyes. “Coming to Earth, and trying to adapt, twisted and scarred me in ways I still don’t fully understand, and I haven’t completely healed. I mean, by the time I graduated from high school, I believed that Alex was the only true close friend I could ever have on this planet. I’m wondering whether I’ve been living with an unconscious ban on telling anyone that I’m an alien.”

“Have you told other people?” Lena asked with evident strain.

“Only when I needed something from them. Once it was for help with a rescue, and the other was for someone to be excited with me after Alex was angry that I saved her plane. That’s part of what I mean by twisted, Lena; I would’ve felt like a selfish monster if I’d told you in order to get something from you, but it didn’t occur to me that I could give you something by telling you. Not even after Lillian claimed you’d hate me if you learned on your own. It just never entered my mind that I could _not_ lie to you.” She sighed and stared at Lena’s hands. “What I’m trying to say is that, yes, I should have told you, and you’re right that it should have been a happy moment for both of us. I failed you, and I’m sorry, and I desperately hope, for your heart’s sake, Lena, that you understand that it wasn’t because I didn’t care enough.”

Lena’s frown warned of resurgent anger. “What do you mean, for my sake?”

“Because the only way this could break my heart more,” Kara said, looking up at her with pleading eyes, “Is if you stopped believing that you’re worth believing in.”

“Kara...” Lena said her name as though she’d just recognized her best friend through a fog. She gripped Kara’s hands hard, then folded forward and held the backs of them to her eyes as she wept.

“I wish you had other friends to be here for you,” Kara thought aloud.

Lena replied without looking up. “I don’t.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry-”

“I don’t wish I had someone else.” Lena lowered their hands to her lap. Her eyes were red and strained, tear streaks coated her cheeks, and her voice was raw. “You are the only person I want to be here for me. And I can’t hate you, Kara. I wanted to, b-but I can’t…” She shut her eyes. “Do you understand,” she said, sounding stilted and formal in her effort to control herself, “that you have hurt me deeper than anyone in my whole, messed-up life?”

Kara nodded and whispered, “Yes.”

“I can’t forgive you all at once. There’s too much, but-” she swallowed with evident pain against her raw throat, then opened her eyes and met Kara’s. “But I want to.” Kara nodded, soft and silent. “I want to remember only the thousand ways you’ve been the best friend I could hope for, and… I want you to be my hero again.”

Kara, pajama-clad and teary-eyed, sat up on her knees to bring their faces closer. “I can’t promise to never fail you again. I’m flawed and I might let you down in some other way.”

“I know. That’s… it’s okay. I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I expect you to never lie to me again.”

“Never.” Kara paused. “What if I want to surprise you?”

Lena shook her head. “No deception, ever.”

“Okay. Never ever, Lena.”

The brunette nodded and shut her eyes again. Kara gazed at her, seeing through the layers of tears and pain to her beautiful friend. It crossed her mind that she didn’t deserve this amazing woman – and her mind imagined Lena replying, _“That makes two of us.”_ The thought made her shake her head and smile a little; maybe flawed and scarred was okay, as long as it was in the open. Lena’s breathing settled, losing its tension and sadness, and she began to look at ease. Kara had long thought Lena looked peaceful and lovely when she closed her eyes, when her lashes fanned out and her features relaxed…

Kara lifted a hand, though Lena didn’t let go of it, and cupped her friend’s cheek. Lena drew in a breath through her nose and tensed, then exhaled and relaxed. She opened her eyes, then let go of Kara’s hands and reached for her. She pulled on Kara’s arms, trying to encourage Kara up onto the couch, but Kara smiled and pulled the other way. Lena took the invitation and let herself be drawn forward; she settled astride Kara’s lap, and they clung tight to each other, bodies pressed together as though their closeness might forever seal the rift that had nearly broken them both. Kara felt a wash of shame and guilt; how had she not realized – how had she not _wanted_ to tell someone she cared for this much, cherished this much, who she really was? But there was no future in hating herself for the past. The only thing she controlled was herself in the present, and in Rao’s name she was never, _never_ going to give Lena less than all her heart. “I can’t promise to never let you down, but I can promise that I will always care for you. Always.”

Lena was quiet for a moment. “The thing that hurt the most,” she whispered, “was that the pain was how I realized I loved you.”

Kara squeezed Lena so tight that the woman winced and gasped. “Sorry! I’m so sorry, I literally just hurt you again-” She stopped herself and said what mattered: “I love you, too, Lena.”

Lena drew back just enough to bring their foreheads together. “Don’t apologize for that,” she said. For the first time, her voice carried a smile.

“You might get bruises,” Kara murmured.

“Then they’ll remind me of how I got them.” Her smile turned to a yawn, and then she swallowed and blinked as though she might tear up again. “Kara, I… I don’t want to pressure you. I just… would you stay? After everything… I don’t want…”

“I’ll stay,” Kara said. “I don’t want to leave you, either.” She smiled. “Besides, I’m dressed for it.”

Lena giggled. “Penguin pajamas.” She looked sad for a moment, then gave Kara a wry and wistful smile. “To get up, I have to let go of you.”

“What if I carry you?”

Lena nodded, then melted into Kara as the blonde carried her to her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the ride, bumpy though it was. Leave a comment and make my day :)


End file.
